On March 24, 2018 over 800 rallies were held across the United States for the purpose of sending a message to lawmakers to tighten gun control laws. The rallies came in the wake of the mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida 38 days earlier. The speakers and the people who attended these rallies demanded a ban on assault rifles, more thorough background checks for gun buyers, and better mental health care.

What if they also protested the way children were being raised? What if their message was that: the root cause of crime isn’t the availability of guns, but children growing up with emotional pain? What if their speeches had advocated for parents to show more unconditional love, listen more, and spend more time with their children? What if the headlines read:

Rallies encourage parents to be better parents?

I teach parenting classes in the jail and prison. I hear stories of how inmates were raised, and some of their stories break my heart. Many of their young lives were full of emotional pain: fear, hate, anger, and sadness, caused by trauma and abuse.

Their needs for 1) a sense of belonging, 2) a sense of personal power, 3) to be heard and understood, and 4) limits and boundaries were not properly met when they were growing up. Their relationship with the people who were supposed to care for them was weak. Would their lives have turned out differently had they been raised differently?

We can’t change the past, but we can learn from it.

Here are some behaviors that emotional pain can cause, that affect our homes, schools and communities:

Drug and alcohol abuse
Sexual abuse
Unplanned teenage pregnancies
Poverty and homelessness
Crime
Depression and other mental health problems
Racism
Family violence
Failed marriages
Child abuse
Suicides

Can parents change the course of their children’s future? I believe they can, but only if they know what to do. Using antiquated, hand-me-down techniques like threatening and punishing will not work. I wrote this website to show dads what to do.

My hope is that this website will make a positive difference in our homes, schools, and communities, by helping dads make a positive difference in their children’s lives.